It’s Throwback Thursday again (What’s Throwback Thursday?). I actually kind of like this post. Having become single a few months prior to this post, I was back in the dating world and finding that I was not thrilled with my options. While I don’t remember the exact details behind this post, I’m pretty sure it must have been in reference to the fact that the guys I was dating were not meeting my standards. As might be expected, I began to question whether or not my standards were too high. Here is the post:
[Comments by 2012 Susan]
I was thinking today about who I am as a person. I think everyone makes decisions in their life that affect all other areas of their life. Those decisions aren’t the ones you make everyday but every once in a while they come along and however you decide changes your life significantly.
For example, you become a smoker. You are, from that moment on, a smoker. When you go to restaurants you sit in a completely different section from everyone else [For my younger readers, there was a time when you could smoke in restaurants. Crazy, right?]. You must leave the room to go smoke a cigarette outside. You don’t see it as an inconvenience because it’s something that you choose for your life and therefore you are happy with your status as a smoker (there are some exceptions, but you know what I mean). I am not a smoker, so for me it seems like spending that extra money on smokes [really, Susan? Did you just call them smokes?] each week and making your breath and clothes smell would be a burden, but for smokers, the positives outweigh the negatives.
The same principle can be applied to my life. I will be the first to admit that I have made decisions in my life that others might see as a burden. There are certain things that I choose not to do, not because I feel forced not to, but because they are things that I decided not to make large priorities in my life. On very rare occasions do I ever regret these choices I make for myself. And even when I do, I eventually come back to my pre-established beliefs sooner or later.
Basically what I am saying is, I don’t want that other kind of life. I am so fine with other people having that kind of life. I don’t think I am better than them. I am just different and I understand that. But I also don’t want to be with someone who cannot see things in the same way that I do. Someday, somewhere, I will meet someone who is on the same page as me. [Spoiler alert: I was right, this happened!] And that is going to be an awesome day. [It was!] But until that day, I really have no reason to be upset, because every person that comes into my life NOT seeing things the way that I do, is not the person for me. I think the disappointment is less the fact that I cannot be with that person, but more that the person is not quite the person I thought he was. I really do believe that there is someone who will share my same values in life but there are a lot of people in this world. I would be naive to think that I would find that person so soon in my life. [Little does 2002 Susan know, she meets this person five months after writing this post]. For now, I’m content with waiting it out. It’s better than being with someone who you know isn’t quite right.
This is my advice to others: don’t be with someone, or stay with someone, because you are afraid that no one else will ever come along. Don’t let yourself believe that you are not worth the best. Don’t question what you feel inside. You feel that way for a reason. If you cannot love yourself when you are single, you will never love anyone else. If you think you do, you are mistaken.