It Only Takes A Smile
When you become a mother of twins, you are immediately a member of the Mothers of Twins Club (MTC). This is not to be confused with the Mothers of Multiples club. While you are more than welcome to become a member of the Mothers of Multiples club, you must first pay their dues to be considered an actual member. Once you pay the dues, you can receive the newsletter, attend play dates and get into the Mothers of Multiples yard sale a day early.
The MTC is far less organized. We have no meetings, no dues, no board members and no monthly newsletter. No, the MTC is merely the unacknowledged club that all mothers of twins are members of. Members of the MTC share a common bond similar to a secret handshake. We can spot each other a mile away. When we meet eyes across the grocery store, we don’t have to say anything. With one look we can convey “Hang in there, it gets better” or “This is just a stage, right?” depending on the situation.
My favorite members of the MTC are the ones who have been members for 18+ years. These members are hard to spot. They don’t stick out in society the way the newer members do. They aren’t pushing around double strollers with their hair in sloppy ponytails and Oreo crumbs on their shirts. These members look like average women. I sometimes don’t even recognize them as members until one approaches me and introduces herself as a member of the MTC. As she smiles at my children, I can almost follow her daydream back to the days when her twins were little. That is my favorite moment: her smile. She isn’t wincing, remembering how hard things were when she was trying to potty train two toddlers at once. She isn’t frustrated, remembering the time her twins colored with a Sharpie marker on the wall.
She smiles because she is remembering, as all mothers do, how precious children are when they are little. Precious children that beg you to cuddle with them at bedtime. Precious children who ask embarrassing questions at the most inopportune times. Precious children that think you are a super hero because you can heal a boo-boo with merely a kiss.
I sometimes have the urge to bow before a senior member of the MTC as if she is the Queen of England. I want to tell her how much I admire her. I want to sit at her feet and glean every parenting secret she is willing to give me. I want her to tell me that the days that seem to last forever are over in a second. I want her to hug me and tell me that she knows what it is like to carry two screaming toddlers out of Chick-Fil-A while everyone stares.
Usually we don’t get that deep in our conversation, mostly because one of my children has bitten into a piece of fruit I had no intention of buying. I don’t have a chance to hear her survival story.
But that’s okay. With one smile, I know it all. I know that everything is going to be okay. It’s another one of those secret handshakes we have.
To all the senior members of the MTC, thank you for your smiles.