Throwback Thursday: Is Chivalry Dead?
It’s week two of Throwback Thursday (what is Throwback Thursday, you might ask? Read the intro post here.) Again I’d like to remind you that at the time of writing these posts, I had recently broken up with my boyfriend. I was what you might call “on the rebound.” Sadly, my high standards seemed to be getting in the way. If I had to define my writing style I would use the world melodramatic and slightly annoying. But I do find these posts pretty humorous because they seem so pointless now. At the time, you must realize, I thought I was being very profound. Anyway, enough commentary from present day me, let’s read what 2002 Susan had to say.
[comments made by 2012 Susan]
August 28, 2002 12:38 AM [another late night posts. Those were the days...]
Is chivalry dead? I thought of this question while in the movie theater watching “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” [As a poor college student, I'm absolutely shocked I would spend money to see this movie in the theater. I have a vague memory of going to see this, I'm pretty sure it was playing at the dollar theater. That makes it a little better.] I’m sitting there watching the guy in the movie propose to the lead and I started to wonder what happened to chivalry. Don’t get me wrong, there are still guys out there that are more than polite when it comes to the dating world, but I feel as if a women’s independence might slightly diminish the chances of finding a chivalrous man. Here is my logic:
I consider myself a pretty independent person. This meaning that I do not tend to need someone to constantly lean on to get through life. I was raised by a mother who taught me that I could do anything a boy could do. Therefore it never dawned on me that girls were anything less than boys. It seems to me now however that this independence is a factor in how I related with guys. I want a guy who will walk me to my car, open the door for me, protect me, but I feel like those guys are too busy being chivalrous with “needy” girls. Okay I know this is hard to follow but hear my out. [I can't tell you how much it pains me not to edit this so that it's not hard to follow, but in the interest of keeping the integrity of the posts, I'm copying these old posts as is.]
If you are a girl like me, who has never thought that she was anything less than boys, it would not dawn on you to have a guy open the door for you when you get to a building or go to get in your car. So if you are not looking for these behaviors, will you not find them? Is chivalry only there for girls who want that and “mold” guys into being that way? If you accept a guy who is not chivalrous and then decide later that you would like him to be more of a gentleman later on, is it too late? And if it is not, if guys are really chivalrous at heart, why are they so quick to drop the attitude as soon as they meet a girl who does not demand it?
I don’t really know where I am going with this other than that the movie made me really want a guy that would walk that extra mile for me. Someone who would know that while I don’t show it, it would be nice to receive that random act of kindness once in a while.
So to answer my question about whether chivalry is dead, I would have to say that no it is not, however for girls like me, it just tends to come less often than it seems to in the movies.