Today is a big day. Today my youngest two children start kindergarten and my oldest child begins second grade. This is a day that seemed forever away on the horizon. It was the major milestone that I kept in sight on the hardest days of parenting. If I could just make it to the twins’ first day of kindergarten, at the very least I can start blaming all their shortcomings on their teachers (just kidding teacher friends! Love you and what you do and BLESS YOU a million times).
There were days when I never believed I would make it here. It seemed forever away. There were days when I had to leave the grocery story because I had two crying babies and a screaming toddler and I was about to burst into tears. There were days when I thought if I had to clean up one more spilled cup I was going to scream. There were trips to the doctor for ear infections and sleepless nights due to stomach viruses. There were days.
They weren’t all bad. There were days when they were so adorable when just a look from either of them would melt my heart. There were toys shared and pictures drawn that were beyond sweet.
I started this blog almost three years ago exactly. The twins had just begun preschool. This is a picture from their very first day of preschool.
Who are these babies? Has it really only been three years since they were this small? They have changed so much since then. I remember when they were starting preschool, I wondered how they would do. I could not imagine that either of them would be able to follow directions. I imagined the teacher leader circle time and my kids standing up in the middle of it and walking over to a toy that caught their attention. I could not for the life of me picture them sitting still while their teach handed out the snack. And yet, they stepped up to every challenge and did amazing in preschool.
I took this next picture this past weekend.
Seriously, who are these big kids? I wish I could tell the mom taking the picture of the preschool kids that the next three years will go by so fast. Even if I could, I wouldn’t have believed me. I’d heard it a million times and brushed it off as an over used cliché. Because when you are living live with three preschoolers, nothing goes by fast.
Except it does.
I’m thankful for this blog because it helped me capture some of the memories I know I would have forgotten if I hadn’t written them down. Like how hard it used to be to ride escalators with my children. Or the fun we had playing games. For three years this blog helped me while I struggled to find meaning in a chaotic daily life. Hard days became blog posts with a redeeming lesson at the end. Many times it took writing it down to realize just how special the moment had been. Other times if I didn’t sit in front of a computer screen for an hour to let it out, I would have just sat alone and cried. This blog helped me during an important phase of parenting. I mostly wrote it for myself and it was a bonus that others enjoyed reading it.
But for the past year or so, the posts have become fewer. This is due partly to the fact that I blogg over at todayisawgod.org and partly to the fact that I started working full-time.
I believe in beginnings and I believe in endings. I’m so glad that I started this blog because it helped me discover my love for writing. It gave me an outlet that I desperately needed. But it is time for the ending. This is not the end of Susan blogging forever. As I said, I’m still writing at todayisawgod.org. But for now, this blog is ending. I’m closing this chapter so that I can move on to different things. Maybe I’ll be back with a different type of blog or maybe I’ll write again about parenting observations. I just don’t know.
Thank you to my loyal readers. You are great. Your support and encouragement helped convince me that I didn’t need to throw in the towel after only a few posts. Thank you to my amazing husband who shared his wife with a computer screen on countless occasions and who read through almost every post for typos no matter how late it became.
But most of all, thank you to my wonderful kids. Thank you for unknowingly sharing your life in this blog. After I capture these posts and save them, hopefully you will read them some day and realize that yes, mommy was stressed a lot, but she was mostly just trying to be a good mom. Being a good mom shouldn’t have to be so stressful and though it may not have seemed like it at the time, I was constantly doing my best to chill out. The three of you are the delights of my day and you will always bring me joy!
Happy first day of kindergarten and second grade!