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My New Year’s Resolution: Fail More

I don’t take a lot of risks.

In fact, you could argue that I don’t take any risks, because the ‘risks’ that I do take are analyzed so intensely beforehand to make sure that my odds are favorable.  When I try something new, I do so only after I’ve received the correct number of positive reinforcements that I’ve deemed necessary for the task at hand.

I do this because I do not want to fail.

I am so afraid of doing something poorly that I would rather not do it at all.  I am so afraid that someone will say ‘no’ to my idea that I convince myself that my idea is not worth sharing.

This has worked pretty well so far.  In high school, I only tried out for the roles in the school plays that I was sure I would get.  I never went for the lead part, only the supporting roles.  I convinced myself that I didn’t want the starring roles, but I was lying to myself. My senior year of high school I applied to exactly three colleges.  My grades and SAT scores fit perfectly in their average range.  Even my “reach” school was reachable.  I did this so that I would not chance getting a rejection letter.

I continued my lifestyle of playing it safe throughout college and adulthood.

I even play it safe when ordering food at a restaurant.  I rarely try something new.  Because to try something new means that I might get something that I don’t like.  Never mind that I might taste something more delicious than my safe option, I’m not going to risk having a bad experience.

So this year, I’m going to try new things.  If I have an idea, I’m going to go with it.  I’m going to put myself out there in areas that I previously convinced myself that I would fail in.  My hope is that I’ll discover new loves and new passions in life.  It also means I might fail a few times.  I might order a dessert I don’t like.  I might get a ‘no’ when I was hoping for a ‘yes.’ I might hear ‘no’ 10 times before I hear a yes.  It might stink. It might be hard to get rejected over and over again for something that I really want.

But something tells me that the thrill of finally succeeding, even after failing many times, is worth it.

Comments

Katie Anderson

Yay! I love this. I am excited to hear about your adventures in failing. I bet it will lead to some awesome things.

Mahgah

Would you like to come over for lamb curry tomorrow night?

Susan W

Boy you really want me to jump feet first into this resolution. Lamb? Curry? I don’t think the ‘kids’ would go for it. Shucks! If only I didn’t have to worry about them. ;)