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The 6 People You Will Meet On Facebook

I have a theory that there are 6 types of Facebook friends that everyone has. In a world as large as ours, I take comfort in the idea that no matter how different we are, we all have 6 Facebook friends that are the same. So, in no particular order, here are the Six Friends You’ll Meet on Facebook.

1. The Days of the Week Girl – This girl somehow missed the lesson in kindergarten about the days of the week. Sure it’s only Thursday but she feels like it should be Friday. This girl is constantly counting down until the weekend.  As if the five days in between will last forever.  One word of caution about the Day of the Week Girl — make sure that you aren’t fooled when she has a trip coming up.  Don’t let her status fool you.  It might be her Friday, but it’s still just Wednesday to you.

2. Interesting News Article Guy - I’m not sure how this guy gets any work done during the day. It seems to me that he’s sharing 10 different articles an hour.  He’s the most well-informed person on the planet.  What did that new Harvard study say about Social Media?  This guy will let you know. An airline is now charging for napkins? That’s old news, he shared that last week.  This is a good guy to have in your feed.  You never know when you’ll need to impress someone with your up-to-date current events knowledge.

3. Viral Video Guy - This guy must be coworkers with Interesting News Article Guy at the most unproductive company in the world.  Instead of surfing news sites, this guy is all over YouTube.  There isn’t a Flash Mob or Broadway-singing cat that he doesn’t know about. On a bad day, this is the perfect guy to be friends with.  He’ll have you smiling in no time.

4. Farmville/Zombie Land/Words with Friend Girl - Now, I know what you are thinking.  “Susan, these people don’t exist anymore.  They’ve learned.” Oh no, they haven’t.  You have.  Hopefully for you, you’ve unsubscribed to these posts.  That doesn’t mean they aren’t still posting their latest achievements.  Don’t believe me?  Think back to the friend that was the biggest offender of this crime.  Now, go to their Facebook page.  I’ll wait here.  See? I told you. They are still posting, but during a moment of genius you banished them from your feed.  Good move.

5. Check-In Guy - There is never a question about this guy’s whereabouts.  He’s checking into places all day long.  Having this guy in your news feed makes your social life look completely boring.  He’s at 5 different airports a month, a sporting event every week, and a new restaurant every day. This guy is either very easy to avoid or very easy to stalk.  You’re choice.

And finally, the latest addition to your Facebook friends…

6. Pinterest Obsessed Girl - These friends are a dime a dozen these days. It seems everyone is obsessed with Pinterest.  Not only are they obsessed with Pinterest, they are obsessed with talking about Pinterest.  Suddenly everyone is crafty.  I don’t have any facts to back me up on this, but my guess is that the glue gun industry is flourishing. Personally, I avoid this site at all costs.  I don’t need any more examples of why the store bought decorations for my five-year-old’s birthday are not good enough.  No matter how tempting, I will not sign up for an account.  Nothing good will come from it.

Do you agree with my Facebook friend types?  Have I missed any?

Comments

Meredith E.

I’d have to add the guy that clicks on virus-infected videos and/or I entered to win a iPad, which may be the same thing, and yet does not learn his lesson and keeps getting his wall spammed with said videos.

Jason

Oh you forgot a big one. The “starved for attention so I’ll leave a cryptic post to see how many questions and comments I can collect” girl/guy.