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Throwback Thursday: I Can’t Sing

Last week’s Throwback Thursday was a little bit of a downer. I’m happy to report that this week’s post is a little more positive. While 2002 Susan probably thinks she’s on the road to recovery, I think it’s probably just the lack of sleep that is putting 2002 Susan in this weird mood. No need for a lot of back story on this one, so here it is:

[Comments by 2012 Susan]

November 5, 2002 11:20 AM

This morning, I was driving back from Cornell listening to music and singing along to a song and suddenly I stopped focussing on the song and started listening to my voice singing along. And I realized that I am a horrible singer, I mean I was nowhere near on pitch, but still there I was just singing along.

And then I started to laugh. Because it was suddenly the funniest thing in the world [sounds like exhaustion, right?] And then I was laughing so hard that tears were coming from my eyes. At this point I have parked my car and was walking to the apartment, laughing so hard. Luckily I didn’t see anyone during this walk, because I must have looked so funny.

I don’t know why it was suddenly so funny to me. I have always known that I can’t sing. Today it was just the funniest thing listening to my voice next to the singer’s voice.

Life is funny sometimes [Here we go, Deep Thoughts with Susan time]. There are times when nothing seems to be going your way but then you find yourself in a car singing by yourself and cracking up. The thing that makes a difference is not what’s going on around you, it’s how you view the world. If you look for the bad things, you’ll find them. But if you look for the good things, you’ll find those.

Everyone needs a few sad days and what I have learned through all of this is that you can’t hold it all in. Because when the day comes to let it all out, it hurts a lot more than if you let it out over time.

So I can choose to be upset about things or I can focus on the positives. I can be happy for myself. I can have fun with being me. I don’t have to be sad that I don’t have that person who loves me just as much as I love him. I have so many things to be thankful for. I am going to Japan in April! Who does that? [Not me, actually. Turns out that trip gets cancelled and I don't end up going to Japan at that time. Good thing 2002 Susan doesn't have that piece of information, it would probably send her back into a tailspin.] I have the best friends in the world. I have two great caring parents. Honestly, things are good.

So yeah I am going to eat lunch now, because I haven’t eaten a full meal in three days, and I am a little hungry.